The EX and the NEXT
With high rates of divorce and with relationships constantly in question as displayed on shows like: Cheaters, Maury, Paternity Court… chances are you are somebody’s ex and somebody’s next. Never thought about it that way huh? Well yeah neither did I until now. I was married on paper for a little over ten years although my now ex-husband and I were legally separated for over six years out the ten. I entered into the marriage with one child and we had a kid. Now divorced (an EX) with my two children and of course not wanting to be alone I began dating. It’s not like whoever I dated just started for the first time too so in essence I became their NEXT relationship. The true question I have is can the EX and the NEXT get along??? We find ways to get cope or deal with our new beau’s friends and family, so why not attempt to befriend our Exes NEW love interest? Now obviously if you have no children between ya’ll, then I could give a rat’s ass about whoever you date after me! But since there is that bond between us it is to our child(ren)’s benefit we learn how to coexist. Right???
Now, yes I know every situation is different. Your relationship might have ended due to abuse – no one is asking you to bake cookies for the new chic however you might want to send her an anonymous email about how dude gets down. Or the NEXT chic could be the one who helped lodge a wedge in your now broken relationship. But think about this – when YOU enter into a sound relationship are you not expecting their friends and family to accept you – get to know you and then form an opinion? So why should it be so different for you to get to know your Ex’s NEXT love? In no way am I saying be BFF’s with as Tracey Steele would say these ‘Popcorn hoes’. But when your ex has found someone of SIGNIFICANCE you should attempt to put negative (if any) feelings aside and be a great example to your kids. I am sure this will not work with EVERYONE but MORE of us should try it before we knock it.
Source: My inspiration for this article came from this clip from “Oprah’s Next Chapter” with Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds. Take a look at the clip and let us know what you think about this!