The Natural “Perm”

The Natural “Perm”

I got that natural perm… LOL…Ok. Ok. There is no such thing… but dammit that is what I am feeling.  I have been rocking a perm for the last 18 plus years of my life. ‘Creamy crack’ is what they call it… The only drug I have faithfully let different but trusted females and hell one time a male put onto my follicles for a price. And I have been steadfast on when I show up for my ‘fix’. Every six to eight weeks I am there. I can feel when that time nears too. My roots start thickening up alerting me to schedule an appointment and just like that I am in a chair hoping I didn’t scratch my scalp the night before.

“Another word for chemical relaxers (perms). Black women use straightening products that must be retouched every 6 to 8 weeks, and become reliant on them, like a crackhead to crack.”

Well what the hell happened recently?? My hairdresser was too busy and couldn’t get me in her chair when I needed to. See this never happened where I used to live. I had back up suppliers of creamy crack and there was no appointment needed; I could show up with money in tow and was serviced promptly. It’s different here in the A. You make appointments and pay darn near twice, a concept I have yet to understand. Waiting is usually never an issue but I was scheduled to be on TV the following morning so that ‘I need to get to a hairdresser look’ wasn’t working.  So I opted to wear the ‘Natural’ style. What is that… it’s where I wash the hair and braid into corn rows while damp, let it dry, loosen, fluff and go… wherever the hair falls is just how it falls. But past the TV appearance I continued to wear the hair this way… It’s been about 2 plus weeks now.

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So what’s wrong??? My significant other expressed his distaste for the style. And my response was ‘ok, that’s nice’. He prefers the straight hair I have mostly worn and that is cool but it swayed me not. (Mind you he has gone from a nappy afro, to low cut, to full beard to no mustache or beard and now a goatee that mimics those 5% dudes you see in Harlem – but hey he makes it look good, perils of being a barber) But how I wear my hair… is how I wear it. And as long as I like what I see, others will too despite preferences. My son told me at first he didn’t like it and then revised his statement later saying that it grew on him.

And this ladies is an important lesson to learn if you haven’t already. Too many of us are uncomfortable about our hair. We try a new style and immediately look for verification from our friends and the opposite sex. How about do YOU like it? Let’s start there for it is YOU who owns it. When you are unsure about yourself others pick up on it only encouraging the negativity you harbored.  Now please give me constructive feedback, don’t have me looking like no fool but telling me you just don’t like it…. Yeah that means nothing to me.

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On the flip end I saw a picture of a woman who was completely bald due to chemo therapy. How beautiful she looked with that smile and bald scalp.
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She owned her style and I couldn’t help but to smile looking at the picture. She accepted who she was first. Each day is not the same, and no human is completely alike. Appreciate the differences we all have and bask in your sexiness no matter what hair you wear.

To drive the point home even further, take a look at this clip from the Steve Harvey Show below.



6 thoughts on “The Natural “Perm””

  • Truth you tell!!! I’ve always been a believer in using hair as an accessory and accepting it as it is. Of course I relax it and right now I’m experimenting with keratin straightening, but its hair. Experiment and embrace it. I’ve cut it, streaked it, braided it, wore it wet, watches it break off and started all over. Through it all I’ve always embraced it, thick, coarse, and indifferent. I’m confident in me, who I am and not what my hair looks like to others.

  • Its a sad reality that some men are uncomfortable with the “natural” look. They were conditioned to think that straight hair was more acceptable or beautiful. I personally am not dating a a women’s hair… I’m dating the women, the person. I agree you are more than your hair!

    • So true… This mimics another topic of fading beauty. The person you fall in love with today will not look the same in the future. Once you accept the person then you accept all that comes with them… hair changes… wrinkles and all!

  • If your hair is a stamp of who you are and what you are as a woman then I must be a damn alien as much as I like to change my look. It has nothing to do with “self hate” it has to do with what… I LIKE. Having your boo not like your doo an be tough, However if it became all we talked about in the relationship I will gladly take a few tracks out and let him rock it since he is so interested. At the end of the day we have enough hate and negativity thrown our way on a daily from people we don’t know. To have that also in your home is inexcusable. As long as you not running the streets with dirty, unkept looking hair, your already 10 steps ahead of some of the mess I’ve seen in these streets!

    • Thankfully in my situation this is not an issue but was just a quick and simple discussion of preference. However I can’t imagine going thru what the woman in the Steve Harvey clip did. She herself bought into the idea that beauty = weave and so she didn’t even accept how she looked and blamed herself for her husband’s reaction.
      I say this… introduce your man to all your styles like when you and your boo have a sleep over for the first time… break out the darn scarf and housecoat from jump.. that way he can’t say he didn’t know later… LOL!

  • I had my “coming out” natural hair moment in my senior year of HS, so I have had years of this nonsense, and dealing with people who were not so turned on by my hair. On the flip though, some people were quite accepting. But what is acceptance or tolerance anyway? The fact that I wear MY hair a certain way is my business. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but opinions are like assholes. I go fed with trying to please other people. Fuck it! I just don’t give a damn anymore. I still get weird looks from men when I go out, and some women, but like I said, its all a moot point! Do you, and fuck everyone else.

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